Resilience involves the ability to recover and rebound from challenges and setbacks. It can be important for helping people deal with a variety of problems and recover from trauma.
It's a lot more than just being "tough." Resilience allows us to withstand life's hardships and find the strength and resolve to get back up again.
Think about a time when you were dealing with a challenge—like a breakup or job loss—that left you stressed and questioning yourself. Trust me; I know how easy it is to fall into that trap of thinking that things will never change and that the whole world is against you. But these moments are *exactly* why resilience is so important.
When it feels like we are fighting an uphill battle (and we're more than a little tempted just to give up), remember that everyone else is dealing with struggles we know nothing about. Resilience allows us to keep showing up and looking for new ways to face these challenges every day. We find ways to keep going, even when it feels impossible. That's resilience.
If you want to become more resilient, start by learning about the characteristics of resilient people and when and how to ask for help.
At a Glance
Resilience doesn't just mean bouncing back from challenges; it's also about growing stronger through adversity. What makes a person resilient? There are many factors that contribute to resilient behavior, including personality traits, upbringing, genetics, environmental factors, and social support. The great news is that resilience isn't a fixed trait. You can develop this skill by learning to adapt, growing from your mistakes, and leaning on the support systems that make you stronger.
What Does Resilience Mean?
Being resilient means facing difficulties head-on instead of falling into despair or using unhealthy coping strategies. Resilience is often defined as the mental reservoir of strength that helps people handle stress and hardship.
Resilient people are able to draw upon this strength to cope and recover from challenges. That's true even when they face significant traumas, such as job loss, financial problems, serious illness, relationship challenges, or the death of a loved one.
Resilience also means understanding that life is full of challenges. While we cannot avoid many of these problems, we can remain open, flexible, and willing to adapt to change.
Characteristics of Resilience
Some of the main characteristics of a person who has resilience are awareness, self-control, problem-solving skills, and social support. Resilient people are aware of situations, their emotional reactions, and the behavior of those around them.
By remaining aware, they can maintain control of a situation and think of new ways to tackle problems. In many cases, resilient people emerge stronger after such difficulties.
While people vary dramatically in the coping skills they use when confronting a crisis, researchers have identified some key characteristics of resilience. Many of these skills can be developed and strengthened, which can improve your ability to deal with life's setbacks.
The five basic characteristics of resilience are:
- Problem-solving skills
- Strong social connections
- Survivor mentality
- Emotional regulation
- Self-compassion
Sense of Control
Do you perceive yourself as having control over your own life? Or do you blame outside sources for failures and problems?
Generally, resilient people tend to have what psychologists call an internal locus of control. They believe that the actions they take will affect the outcome of an event.
Of course, some factors are simply outside of our personal control, such as natural disasters. While we may be able to put some blame on external causes, it is important to feel as if we have the power to make choices that will affect our situation, our ability to cope, and our future.
Problem-Solving Skills
Problem-solving skills are essential for resilience. When a crisis emerges, resilient people are able to spot the solution that will lead to a safe outcome. In dangerous situations, less resilient people sometimes develop tunnel vision. They fail to note important details or take advantage of opportunities.
Resilient individuals are able to calmly and rationally look at a problem and envision a successful solution.
Strong Social Connections
Whenever you're dealing with a problem, it is important to have people who can offer support. Talking about the challenges you are facing can be an excellent way to gain perspective, look for new solutions, or simply express your emotions.
People who possess a great deal of resilience have a network of friends, family members, co-workers, and online support groups to keep them socially connected.
How Social Support Contributes to Well-Being
Survivor Mentality
When dealing with any potential crisis, it is essential to view yourself as a survivor. Resilient people avoid thinking like a victim of circumstance and instead look for ways to resolve the problem. While the situation may be unavoidable, they stay focused on a positive outcome.
Emotional Regulation
Resilience is also characterized by an ability to regulate emotions effectively. The ability to recognize that they are having an emotional response and to understand what is causing the response can help them better handle emotions and cope with the situation at hand.
Emotional regulation is vital for resilience because it allows us to recognize what we are feeling and stay calm when we are under stress. When we feel like we're in control, we're a lot less likely to become overwhelmed by feelings of anxiety and frustration.
Regulating our emotions also allows us to stay focused on finding solutions rather than getting stuck in a cycle of emotional reactivity.
Self-Compassion
Resilient people are also compassionate toward themselves. They tend to notice when they need to take a break and can accept their emotions, which is important for resilience.
When facing hardships, it's important to be gentle with ourselves. Treating ourselves with kindness can be the key to helping us find the resolve and strength to keep going.
Self-compassion can help boost overall health and resilience and ensure you're ready to face life's challenges.
Examples of Resilience
So what does resilience look like in action? Some examples of resilient behaviors and ways that you can show resilience include:
- Trying to take a positive perspective on situations
- Viewing challenges as learning opportunities
- Regulating emotions and expressing feelings in appropriate ways
- Focusing on the things you can control instead of dwelling on what you cannot change
- Recognizing that cognitive distortions are false
- Reframing negative thoughts to be more realistic and positive
For example, imagine that you get stuck in traffic on the way to work. A non-resilient person might get angry, stressed out, and worried about how being late will reflect on them at work.
If you are resilient, however, you might choose to focus on what you can learn from the situation (leaving the house earlier for work), control your emotional response (using stress relief strategies to calm your mind and body), and avoid negative thinking (by reminding yourself that you are always on time and your employer will understand).
How Do I Build Resilience?
Strategies that can help you become more resilient include:
- Developing a sense of optimism: A positive mindset can help you stay hopeful in the face of challenges.
- Finding meaning and purpose in your life: Working toward things you believe in ensures that you'll stay motivated and committed even when times are tough.
- Maintaining good interpersonal relationships and a strong support system: Friends, family, and the community can lift you up and give you the support you need when your self-belief might be waning.
- Creating goals and working toward them: Goals give you something to work toward and help you stay focused and motivated in the face of obstacles.
- Working on your problem-solving skills: Resilience is greater when we have the resources we need to adapt and grow as the situation changes. When circumstances shift, problem-solving skills help us find new ways of moving forward rather than clinging to our rigid ideas about how things should be.
Remember, it takes time to develop a stronger sense of resilience. The key is to keep working on these skills over time. By practicing these skills, resilience will become a part of your overall mindset.
How to Ask for Help
While being resourceful is an important part of resilience, it is also essential to know when to ask for help. During a crisis, everyone can benefit from the help of psychologists and counselors specially trained to deal with crisis situations. Other potential sources of assistance include:
- Books: Reading about people who have experienced and overcome a similar problem can be motivating and suggest ideas on how to cope.
- Online message boards: Online communities can provide continual support and a place to talk about issues with people who have been in a similar situation.
- Psychotherapy: If you are having trouble coping with a crisis situation, consulting a qualified mental health professional can help you confront the problem, identify your strengths, and develop new coping skills.
- Support groups: Attending support group meetings is a great way to talk about the challenges you're facing and to find a network of people who can provide compassion and support.
Takeaways
Resilience is important for mental health and well-being, and luckily, everyone can learn to be resilient. While some people may be naturally more resilient, it's a skill that you can strengthen.
Start by practicing some of the common characteristics of resilient people and focusing on your existing strengths. Don't get discouraged; becoming more resilient may take time, but the investment will have big payoffs on your health and well-being.
10 Ways to Build Resilience
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the seven resilience skills?
They are competence, confidence, connection, character, contribution, coping, and control. Pediatrician Ken Ginsberg, MD, created the 7 Cs of resilience model to help children and adolescence build resilience. However, these skills can be developed at any age.
What does non-resilient mean?
Being non-resilient, or lacking resilience, often involves becoming overwhelmed by difficult or stressful situations, dwelling on problems, or using unhealthy coping mechanisms to cope with the challenges of life.
What does it mean to be stress-resilient?
People who are stress-resilient have better coping strategies for handling stress. They can recover more quickly from the major and minor stressors that occur day to day.
Is resilience a character trait?
While resilience is often portrayed as a character trait that people either have or don't have, it is actually an ability that people can improve. According to one study, resilience can fluctuate over time and may depend on the situation and circumstances that a person is facing. This means that with practice, you can learn to strengthen your resilience.